dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
