Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
