I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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