But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
