Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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