So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
