Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You dont lie about slip and slides
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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