just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
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No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
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HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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