So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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