Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
