I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
