The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
