My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
