dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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