i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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