loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
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What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
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And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
And then he peed in my hair
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