absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
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he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
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I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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