how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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