try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Randomize
