Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
