i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
