I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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