I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
