i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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