Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
this hospital has no fireball
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
