so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
