life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
