ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
