i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
