when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
True strength comes from lack of pants
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
