I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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