The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
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Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
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So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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