at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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