HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
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