Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Sorry my hands just texted you
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
