i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
