Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
we're making bets on your personal life
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
