He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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