we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
