mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
