So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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