like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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