she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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