she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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