And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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