just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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