I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
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He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
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That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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