4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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