Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize