Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
