Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
