I'm pants shitting drunk right now
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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