people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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