what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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