we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
