hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
