im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My breasts were aching with rage.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The ass gains better be worth it
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