Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
