god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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