she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
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As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
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A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
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This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
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We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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