Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Nobody cheats on THIS.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
