You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
