How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
